Were You Thinking Naughty Thoughts?
by I.W.P-chan
Summary: DayumThoseLegs: FOR THE LAST TIME. DayumThoseLegs: I! AM! NOT! A! CAT! PancakePrince: DENY IT ALL YOU WANT I HAVE PICTURE EVIDENCE. Crack. ShuAke. Chatfic.


Summary: **DayumThoseLegs:** FOR THE LAST TIME.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I! AM! NOT! A! CAT!

 **PancakePrince:** DENY IT ALL YOU WANT I HAVE PICTURE EVIDENCE

 _Note: lookit yet ANOTHER chatfic. Impulse control? What's that?_

 _Basically an AU where Akechi and Akira grew up together, and Akira ended up going into the Metaverse with Akechi two years prior._

 _Alt title: "Sin Unleashed 2.0"_

 **Warnings: Suggestive Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Content, Crack, Sudden Mood Whiplashes, Zero Regrets, Cheesy Love Confessions, A Strip Tease Or Two, Mentions Of Mara.**

 **Disclaimer:** Don't own P5.

.

 **PancakePrince:** I heard about the probation.  
 **PancakePrince:** and I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE  
 **PancakePrince:** I didn't raise an ingrate who would get CAUGHT assaulting a politician!

 **DayumThoseLegs:** one  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I didn't assault him. I pushed him off the woman HE was assaulting and he was so drunk he fell over by himself  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and two  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I can't believe you're on about how I GOT CAUGHT  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and not about the ASSAULT  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and three  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you didn't raise me

 **PancakePrince:** whatever makes you sleep at night.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** definitely not your lovely visage then ;3

 **PancakePrince:** I hate you.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I love you too honey

 **PancakePrince:** one day you're going to die.  
 **PancakePrince:** it's going to be slow and brutal.  
 **PancakePrince:** and by my hand.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** kinky

.

 **PancakePrince:** so, how was your first day at your new school?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** terrible

 **PancakePrince:** oh?  
 **PancakePrince:** were your legs ogled all day long by virtual strangers, then?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I WISH it was that simple  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** for one thing  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'm laying low so I don't get to wear the girl's uniform  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** for another  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it seems that my record was leaked  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** so now everyone at school is now gossiping about me  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** didn't you know?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I apparently can kill with just a look

 **PancakePrince:** can confirm.  
 **PancakePrince:** remember Sanada from middle school?  
 **PancakePrince:** you terrified the shit out of him with your glare.  
 **PancakePrince:** he was never seen with you in the same room ever again.  
 **PancakePrince:** and that was when you were a fluff ball at fourteen.  
 **PancakePrince:** can you imagine how it is now two years later?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** excuse you  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Sanada was an asshole  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** he totally deserved it  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** he should be glad I didn't do worse

 **PancakePrince:** he wasn't worth it.  
 **PancakePrince:** anyway.  
 **PancakePrince:** continue about your day.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** okay so  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I may or may not have accidentally travelled into the Metaverse  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** while accidentally taking someone from Shujin with me

 **PancakePrince:** WHAT  
 **PancakePrince:** AMAMIYA-KURUSU AKIRA

 **DayumThoseLegs:** oops  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** sorry gotta go  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** talk later

 **PancakePrince:** DON'T YOU DARE

.

 _DayumThoseLegs sent lookatmynewroommate. jpg_

 **DayumThoseLegs:** isn't he cute?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** goro?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** hey goro?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** honey?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** sweetheart?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** honeybun?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** sugarplum?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** sweetcheeks?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** maple syrup?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** PANCAKES

 **PancakePrince:** what do you want?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** well screw you!  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you only listen to the pancakes?!  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** what am I?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** chopped liver?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** crushed human paste stuck to the floor?

 **PancakePrinc** e: soon you will be.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** excuse you?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you're still pissed off about that?

 **PancakePrince:** of COURSE I'm still  
 **PancakePrince:** 'pissed off' about it!  
 **PancakePrince:** the Metaverse isn't somewhere you can drag anyone into!

 **DayumThoseLegs:** you think I WANTED to do it?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I didn't even notice I was transported to the Metaverse until I was in front of the school  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and it WASN'T school

 **PancakePrince:** ah shit.  
 **PancakePrince:** a Palace?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** YES

 **PancakePrince:** whose? Do you know?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** the asshole PE teacher and volleyball team coach  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** he's abusing his team and no one is saying anything about it  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** not even the victims themselves  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** he's also probably harassing female students too

 **PancakePrince:** well fuck

 **DayumThoseLegs:** well fuck, indeed

 **PancakePrince:** what are you going to do about it?  
 **PancakePrince:** because I have a feeling that you're planning something

 **DayumThoseLegs:** well…  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** see my cute, adorable new roommate in the pic?

 **PancakePrince:** your long-lost sibling?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** FOR THE LAST TIME.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I! AM! NOT! A! CAT!

 **PancakePrince:** DENY IT ALL YOU WANT I HAVE PICTURE EVIDENCE

 **DayumThoseLegs:** MOVING ON  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** my new roommate  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** his name is Morgana by the way  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** has a way to deal with the asshole teacher

 **PancakePrince:** oh?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** so, the Palace rulers?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** they have a 'Treasure'  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** which is the root of their 'distorted desires'  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** which are the cause behind the Palace forming  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and taking it will cause the Palace to disappear  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** along with the 'distortion'  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** which will cause the ruler of the Palace to see how things truly are  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and so repent  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's… a bit risky, though  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** as the person whose Treasure would be stolen stands the chance of shutting down and dying

 **PancakePrince:** I don't like the sound of that.  
 **PancakePrince:** it sounds like brainwashing.  
 **PancakePrince:** with the risk of causing a mental shutdown.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's the only way I have to deal with this guy at the moment.

 **PancakePrince:** WHY do you have to deal with him anyway?  
 **PancakePrince:** don't tell me…  
 **PancakePrince:** you've grown attached, haven't you?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** HOWEVER DID YOU GUESS

 **PancakePrince:** but still…  
 **PancakePrince:** what you told me just gave me an idea.  
 **PancakePrince:** about the mental shutdown cases.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** you think someone is causing them via the Metaverse?

 **PancakePrince:** it seems so.  
 **PancakePrince:** someone stealing Treasures, possibly.  
 **PancakePrince:** or maybe it's something to do with a person's Shadow self too.  
 **PancakePrince:** remember the rampaging incident?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** how can I forget?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** wait a moment  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** let me ask Morgana  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** yep  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it looks like you should also be looking into someone KILLING Shadow selves

 **PancakePrince:** that cat is quite helpful.  
 **PancakePrince:** how does it even give you information?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** he talks

 **PancakePrince:** he TALKS?  
 **PancakePrince:** you keep a TALKING CAT with you in your room?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** only those who've been in the Metaverse can hear what he says though  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** the rest just hear meowing

 **PancakePrince:** that's convenient.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I told him about you

 **PancakePrince:** what do you mean?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I mean  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I told him about 'I've been going to the Metaverse for more than two years now'  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and about 'I have a friend who goes with me too but he's too busy now'

 **PancakePrince:** why?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I've been with him through the Palace twice

 **PancakePrince:** and he noticed your experience?  
 **PancakePrince:** and you valued his help.  
 **PancakePrince:** or at least, not having him be an enemy.  
 **PancakePrince:** I see.  
 **PancakePrince:** That makes sense.

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'm going through with it.

 **PancakePrince:** what?  
 **PancakePrince:** the thing about the Treasure, you mean?  
 **PancakePrince:** but isn't that too risky?  
 **PancakePrince:** Akira?  
 **PancakePrince:** I know you're reading these messages.  
 **PancakePrince:** AKIRA YOU'RE SUCH A CAT.  
 **PancakePrince:** I see.  
 **PancakePrince:** so it's that serious, huh?  
 **PancakePrince:** you better talk to me about this later.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I will.

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** man, I'm beat

 **PancakePrince:** you took the Treasure?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** yep  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we still don't know how it went with the asshole  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** he's not showing up to school

 **PancakePrince:** how did it go?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** after we infiltrated the Palace and found where the Treasure was  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we had to return and send a calling card

 **PancakePrince:** WHY?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** according to Morgana  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's a necessary step to make the ruler aware that they're hearts are something that could be stolen  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** the effect lasts for only a day though  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and it's a onetime deal, so we don't get retries

 **PancakePrince:** you're calling it heart now?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** shrug

 **PancakePrince:** alright, fine, never mind that. What was the Treasure?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** in the Metaverse it was a crown  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** outside the Metaverse it took the form of a medal  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** a fake medal. It looks like one of the medals the asshole owns

 **PancakePrince:** well… when will the change happen?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** dunno  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but I certainly hope it happens before the asshole makes true on his word and expels me

 **PancakePrince:** WHAT  
 **PancakePrince:** YOU'VE BARELY BEEN THERE A MONTH  
 **PancakePrince:** AND YOU ALREADY GOT YOURSELF IN ENOUGH TROUBLE TO BE THREATENED WITH EXPULSION?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** oops gotta go

 **PancakePrince:** AKIRA!

.

 **PancakePrince:** so today I found a box containing pancakes on my doorstep  
 **PancakePrince:** it was most definitely not sent by mail.  
 **PancakePrince:** should I assume that the change of heart was a success then?  
 **PancakePrince:** and there would be no expulsion?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** YOU ASSUME CORRECT

 **PancakePrince:** that's good to hear.  
 **PancakePrince:** besides  
 **PancakePrince:** that means that you weren't killed.  
 **PancakePrince:** or worse.  
 **PancakePrince:** EXPELLED.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** SKDHASGJSJASDGJASD  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** AKECHI FUCKING GORO  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** DID I JUST READ WHAT I JUST READ WITH MY OWN TWO EYES?

 **PancakePrince:** I don't know what you're talking about.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** oh come ON

 **PancakePrince:** how are your kids?

 _DayumThoseLegs sent MYCHILDREN. jpg_

 **DayumThoseLegs:** MY KIDS  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** ARE FINE  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** CINNAMON ROLLS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD TOO PURE  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** IM A PROUD PAPA  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** A PROUD PHANTOM THIEF PAPA

 **PancakePrince:** excuse you did you just…  
 **PancakePrince:** say PHANTOM THIEF?  
 **PancakePrince:** OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** my lovely fam consisting of myself and my three kids are now a group of phantom thieves~

 **PancakePrince:** I KNEW THAT MAGIC KAITO ADDICTION WAS GOING TO BE BAD INFLUENCE

 **DayumThoseLegs:** but detective~  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you're not interested in some phantom thief/detective action?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** ;3  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** FOREPLAY

 **PancakePrince:** NO

 **DayumThoseLegs:** YES

 **PancakePrince:** GODDAMMIT AKIRA I SAID NO  
 **PancakePrince:** THERE WILL BE NO PHANTOM THIEF/DETECTIVE FOREPLAY

 **DayumThoseLegs:** but darling  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** this phantom thief fam is your fam  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and their papa is your bf  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** come to where I live  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** let me seduce you with my coffee

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** have you ever seen a guy so beautiful you cried?

 **PancakePrince:** I have a mirror.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** …  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'm SPEECHLESS  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** okay  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you're right but that's not what I'm talking about here

 **PancakePrince:** it's not?  
 **PancakePrince:** have you finally grown bored of me?  
 **PancakePrince:** are you tossing me to the side  
 **PancakePrince:** to enjoy the company of a beautiful young thing?

 **DayumThoseLegs** : honey  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you'll always be number one in my heart  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I love you  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'll never throw you away  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'll be sticking so close to you it will make YOU want to get rid of me

 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** I love you too  
 **PancakePrince:** no promises on never wanting to get rid of you  
 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** …I miss you…

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I miss you too  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** which reminds me  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we're overdue for a date  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's been ages since we talked face to face  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** where would you like to go and when?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's your call

 **PancakePrince:** well…

.

 _DayumThoseLegs sent LOOKATHIM. jpg_

 **DayumThoseLegs:** lookit my new kid

 **PancakePrince:** I leave you alone for LESS THAN A WEEK  
 **PancakePrince:** I… am not even surprised anymore.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** GASP  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** NOT SURPRISED?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** HAVE I PERCHANCE LOST MY TOUCH?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** CURSES!

 **PancakePrince:** 'losing your touch'?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** guess the news about having a new member join  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** having a new target  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** being threatened with legal action  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** (we may or may not be sued at the start of next month)  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and being stalked by Niijima Makoto  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** won't shock you huh?

 **PancakePrince:** WHAT  
 **PancakePrince:** AKIRA WHAT DID YOU DO  
 **PancakePrince:** OF COURSE I'LL BE SHOCKED!  
 **PancakePrince:** SOMEONE THREATENED YOU WITH LEGAL ACTION?  
 **PancakePrince:** YOU MAY BE SUED?  
 **PancakePrince:** I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR A LITTLE BIT AND EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT  
 **PancakePrince:** AMAMIYA-KURUSU AKIRA

 **DayumThoseLegs:** …  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** woah

 **PancakePrince:** why is Niijima Makoto stalking you?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** she may or may not be suspecting us

 **PancakePrince:** do I need to mobilize?  
 **PancakePrince:** drive some Shujin kids into berserk rage to distract her?  
 **PancakePrince:** drive HER into berserk rage to distract her?  
 **PancakePrince:** also.  
 **PancakePrince:** WHO is threatening you with legal action? I need a NAME.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** WOAH  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Goro slow down  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** holy fuck what I wouldn't give to have you in front of me so that I can kiss you senseless  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but I'll have to deal with just blowing you-

 **PancakePrince:** AKIRA

 **DayumThoseLegs:** -kisses across the chat ;3  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** my, what did you think I was going to do, detective?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** were you thinking Naughty Thoughts? ;3  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** do you want me to send you nudes?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** just say the word~

 **PancakePrince:** NO

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I can FEEL your blush

 _DayumThoseLegs sent youmissthoselegsdontyou. jpg_

 **PancakePrince:** SJKDHAKJSDHKAJSHDASGHDAJS

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I don't get how the public thinks you're some pure prince.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I would have never thought you'd be bold enough to whisk me into a corner in a TV STATION  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** to have your wicked way with me D:

 **PancakePrince:** I have no idea what you're talking about.  
 **PancakePrince:** are you trying to besmirch my good name?  
 **PancakePrince:** I'll have you know I'm a perfect gentleman!

 **DayumThoseLegs:** tell that to my sore neck littered with hickies

 **PancakePrince:** you should cover those up then.  
 **PancakePrince:** don't want people staring ^^

 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's already too late  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** my kids saw them  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you better sleep with an eye open from now on

 **PancakePrince:** oh? How bold… wicked thieves plotting to break and enter into a humble detective's home to torment him…

 **DayumThoseLegs:** HUMBLE  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** sheesh  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** they all heard what you said about the phantom thieves…  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** did you have to do that? T^T

 **PancakePrince:** who ate the last pancake again?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** okay FINE!

 **PancakePrince:** you mentioned once seducing me with your coffee?  
 **PancakePrince:** I think I'll take you up on that offer.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** holy fuck  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Akechi Goro you devious asshole  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** are you manipulating your way to coffee on my expense?

 **PancakePrince:** AM I?

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** hey hon  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** can I seduce my way into your work cabinet?

 **PancakePrince:** no.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** but HONEY

 **PancakePrince:** WHY do you want to seduce your way into my work?  
 **PancakePrince:** WHY do you HAVE to ASK ME ABOUT IT?  
 **PancakePrince:** you and I both know you'd seduce your way in either way, so why ask?  
 **PancakePrince:** don't tell me…  
 **PancakePrince:** it's PT business, isn't it?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I seem to be an appealing blackmail target

 **PancakePrince:** you got blackmailed?! By who?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** by none other than our dear student council president

 **PancakePrince:** NIIJIMA MAKOTO BLACKMAILED YOU?  
 **PancakePrince:** HOW did that happen?  
 **PancakePrince:** (oh where are you Sae?)

 **DayumThoseLegs:** now  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** takes off shirt  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** how many more articles of clothing do I have to take off before you tell me who the guy controlling shibuya and blackmailing high school students is?

 **PancakePrince** : I don't know.  
 **PancakePrince:** I don't think I should get you involved…

 **DayumThoseLegs:** unbuttons pants

 _DayumThoseLegs sent imreadywillingandable. jpg_

 **DayumThoseLegs:** next the zipper goes down

 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** I think…  
 **PancakePrince:** I think I can be persuaded.  
 **PancakePrince:** go on.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** my  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** aren't we hot and bothered today  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** unzips pants

 _DayumThoseLegs sent icancontinueuntilyoucrack. jpg_

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** remember when I told you that I seem to be an appealing blackmail target?

 **PancakePrince:** and then you proceeded to give me a strip tease by way of pictures.  
 **PancakePrince:** of course I remember.  
 **PancakePrince:** don't tell me that you got blackmailed again…

 **DayumThoseLegs:** well…  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** when you put it that way…  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** then I don't think I have news to tell you sorry hon

 **PancakePrince:** W  
 **PancakePrince:** H  
 **PancakePrince:** O  
 **PancakePrince:** G  
 **PancakePrince:** I  
 **PancakePrince:** V  
 **PancakePrince:** E  
 **PancakePrince:** M  
 **PancakePrince:** E  
 **PancakePrince:** A  
 **PancakePrince:** N  
 **PancakePrince:** A  
 **PancakePrince:** M  
 **PancakePrince:** E

 **DayumThoseLegs:** you're totally pissed off right now…  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** is it even safe to tell you now?

 **PancakePrince:** the power of Loki's berserk spell courses through me  
 **PancakePrince:** it's. just. A. name. tell. M. E.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** uhhh  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Kaneshiro

 **PancakePrince:** 'kay thanks

 **DayumThoseLegs:** Goro?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Goooorroooooo?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** honey?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** fuck.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** me.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** shit!  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Goro no don't put murder on your record you have a whole life ahead of you D:

 **PancakePrince:** :)

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** one thing I'm absolutely glad for  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** is that we were done with Kaneshiro quickly  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I don't want to think what would have happened had we delayed…

 **PancakePrince:** :(

 **DayumThoseLegs:** don't give me that face  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it was for your own good!  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** can you imagine what would have happened to you if I let you go kill Kaneshiro?!  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I can't let my bf ruin his life for just a lil' tiny hitch I can take care of

 **PancakePrince:** LIL'  
 **PancakePrince:** TINY  
 **PancakePrince:** HITCH?  
 **PancakePrince:** BITCH WHERE?  
 **PancakePrince:** YOU GOT YOURSELF BLACKMAILED BY A MAFIOSO!  
 **PancakePrince:** WHO KNOWS WHAT THINGS HE WOULD HAVE DONE TO YOU!  
 **PancakePrince:** what type of decent boyfriend would I be if I didn't threaten to murder the ones who harm you?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** one with SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCTS

 **PancakePrince:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA  
 **PancakePrince:** SELF-PRESERVATION?  
 **PancakePrince:** WHAT'S THAT?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** sweetheart  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** honeybun  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** light of my life  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** my heart and soul  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** please  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** please don't

 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** alright…

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I love you Goro you know that right?

 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** I DO  
 **PancakePrince:** I KNOW that I swear  
 **PancakePrince:** and…  
 **PancakePrince:** I wonder…  
 **PancakePrince:** you know that I love you too, right?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I… I do

 _PancakePrince sent icantbelieveimdoingthis. jpg_

 **PancakePrince:** alright. I'm indulging in some silliness don't you dare not respond properly

 _DayumThoseLegs sent youresopreciousyouknowthat. jpg_

 **DayumThoseLegs:** to think I'd live to see the day you'd send me a picture of you doing half a heart with your hand  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** for me to complete it  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** there is hope for you yet :D

 **PancakePrince:** noooooooo

.

 **PancakePrince:** HOW do you do it?  
 **PancakePrince:** HOW do you keep getting into such situations?!  
 **PancakePrince:** you're probably not responding to your phone because you're out for the fireworks festival  
 **PancakePrince:** but please in the name of all that is holy  
 **PancakePrince:** and not holy  
 **PancakePrince:** please pick up your phone and see my messages because god knows I won't be able to call you right now  
 **PancakePrince:** holy shit Akira the hacktivist group Medjed just issued a challenge to the Phantom Thieves  
 **PancakePrince:** WHAT are you going to do?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** bless you babe  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** as to what I'm going to do  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** well…  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I still need to figure that one out

 **PancakePrince:** I wish I could reach through the screen and strangle you  
 **PancakePrince:** except I don't want my appearance to get disheveled  
 **PancakePrince:** I have a TV interview in a few

 **DayumThoseLegs:** have fun babe

 **PancakePrince:** oh I'm definitely going to have fun  
 **PancakePrince:** by roasting you on TV  
 **PancakePrince:** I hope you like my interview ^^

.

 **PancakePrince:** you went out for SUSHI and DIDN'T invite me along?  
 **PancakePrince:** I have the worst boyfriend ever.  
 **PancakePrince:** is this payback for the interview?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** GEE I WONDER

 **PancakePrince:** your levels of pettiness are astounding.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** right back at you hon

 **PancakePrince:** you know what else astounds me?  
 **PancakePrince:** how NO ONE figured out that you're the PT yet.  
 **PancakePrince:** you could put up a sign  
 **PancakePrince:** and it WON'T be flashier.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** we are Phantom Thieves  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we're MEANT to be flashy  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's all part of our style

 **PancakePrince:** not when it's going to get you ARRESTED!  
 **PancakePrince:** moving on…  
 **PancakePrince:** what do you plan to do about the Medjed situation?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** we'll figure something out.

 **PancakePrince:** you won't be able to change their hearts.  
 **PancakePrince:** because you don't know WHO is behind Medjed…

 **DayumThoseLegs:** we WILL find a way  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** don't worry

.

 **PancakePrince:** I have no idea how you manage these things.  
 **PancakePrince:** I am ABSOLUTELY sure no one in your group can crack a phone's password  
 **PancakePrince:** let alone HACK MEDJED  
 **PancakePrince:** wait.  
 **PancakePrince:** don't tell me…  
 **PancakePrince:** you adopted someone new to the group?  
 **PancakePrince:** someone who happens to be a hacker?  
 **PancakePrince:** oh fuck  
 **PancakePrince:** a hacker  
 **PancakePrince:** just what you needed

 **DayumThoseLegs:** be nice to my new kid  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** hacked into my phone I'll have you know  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** probably reading our messages as we speak

 **PancakePrince:** the PICTURES

 **DayumThoseLegs:** yeah?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I've been roasted and kinkshamed  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you're next I'm sure

 **PancakePrince:** Akira?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** yeah babe?

 **PancakePrince:** I just got messages from someone calling themself Aliababa  
 **PancakePrince:** they're kinkshaming me as we speak  
 **PancakePrince:** that's your hacker?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** the younger sibling I've never thought I'd have :D

 **PancakePrince:** why am I not surprised?

.

 **PancakePrince:** one regret I have in life  
 **PancakePrince:** is not going to Leblanc sooner.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** you enjoyed hearing me be roasted didn't you?

 **PancakePrince:** I'm sorry sweetheart  
 **PancakePrince:** I'm afraid we'll have to break up  
 **PancakePrince:** I don't think I can love you anymore  
 **PancakePrince:** Boss' coffee stole my heart and soul

 **DayumThoseLegs:** YOU WEAKLING  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO SUGGEST A POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** HOGGING BOSS' COFFEE ALL TO YOURSELF?!  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'm ready to throw down  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'll defeat you for the sake of the coffee

 **PancakePrince:** oh?  
 **PancakePrince:** meet me at the Path of Aiyatsbus. Bring Arsene.  
 **PancakePrince:** we're going to fight it out.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** ehehehehe  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but hon  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you know you're Weak to Curse ;3

 **PancakePrince:** and you're Weak to Bless, so we're even :)  
 **PancakePrince:** bring it on

.

 _DayumThoseLegs sent aloha. jpg_

 **DayumThoseLegs:** guess who's back from Hawaii?

 **PancakePrince:** my pancakes?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** yes your pancakes  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** WRONG  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** ITS YOUR SEXY HOT BF  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** who else could it be?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'd ask if you hooked up with Sae while I was in Hawaii  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but you're too gay for that  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and she's too gay for that  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and Futaba sent me updates about you  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** sexting? Naughty, naughty :3

 **PancakePrince:** you should know  
 **PancakePrince:** your ear is the one I've whispered pure filth into

 _DayumThoseLegs sent yourealreadygettingmehotandbotheredagain. jpg_

 **PancakePrince:** while you look absolutely delicious  
 **PancakePrince:** neither of us has the time for me to spread you open over Leblanc's counter

 **DayumThoseLegs:** akjsdhkaajksdhasd

 **PancakePrince:** besides, I don't think Boss would approve.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** AKJSDHAKSDGASD THAT'S WHATS STOPPING YOU?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** FUCKING HELL GORO  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** FUCK. ME. MY BF IS A SINNAMON ROLL TOO HOT FOR THIS WORLD TOO FILTHY

 **PancakePrince:** I'D DO IT BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME  
 **PancakePrince:** anyway.  
 **PancakePrince:** what are you going to do about Okumura?  
 **PancakePrince:** the masses are clamoring to have his heart changed  
 **PancakePrince:** what will your response be?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** HOW do you even bounce through moods like that?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** to answer your question  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we're going to do it

 **PancakePrince:** seriously?!  
 **PancakePrince:** you're going to be doing the public's whims now?!  
 **PancakePrince:** oh for fuck's sake  
 **PancakePrince:** don't tell me the fame got to you  
 **PancakePrince:** I swear I'll sneak into your room in the middle of the night  
 **PancakePrince:** with a KNIFE  
 **PancakePrince:** and murder you

 **DayumThoseLegs:** we have a REASON  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Okumura? He's planning to sell his daughter off for a politician's son to curry favor  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we're doing it for her

 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** well…  
 **PancakePrince:** I apologize for doubting you like that.  
 **PancakePrince:** I… know you better than that and I shouldn't have doubted you so, I'm sorry.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** It's okay  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it… was a bit of a difficult situation for us  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we almost fought about it  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** initially, we weren't going to do it  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but then we met Haru, Okumura's daughter, while she was out with her 'fiancé'  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** the situation escalated  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and the next thing we heard was her father was planning to just give her away to the 'fiancé'  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** and that's why we decided to go through with it eventually

 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** you'll take care, alright?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** yes  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** talk to you later, I love you

 **PancakePrince:** I love you, too.

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I can't believe you  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I go back to Leblanc, find you there, and say  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** 'honey I'm home'  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but you don't respond with  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** 'what would you like? Food, a shower, or me?'  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** ?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** HONESTLY

 **PancakePrince:** I know you  
 **PancakePrince:** and I know you'd say 'how about I feast upon you in the shower?' in response  
 **PancakePrince:** Boss was standing right THERE

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I can't believe dad is cockblocking me  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** wait, I actually can

 **PancakePrince:** so…  
 **PancakePrince:** do you want to talk about what happened with Okumura?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** okay so  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I KNOW there is a chance a mental shutdown could happen instead of a change of heart  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but I must admit what happened with Okumura was unexpected  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we did everything like we usually do  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'm… still trying to figure what could have been different with Okumura to cause the shutdown…

 **PancakePrince:** there is something I've been thinking about.  
 **PancakePrince:** and I talked with your hacker about it.  
 **PancakePrince:** could it be possible that the shutdown was planned  
 **PancakePrince:** and your team was lured in to target Okumura  
 **PancakePrince:** so that you would be framed for the mental shutdowns?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's highly possible  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'll need to hold a meeting soon  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** this is a topic I can't leave unaddressed

 **PancakePrince:** I'll keep looking for more clues on my end.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** take care, okay?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** with Black Mask on the loose, and your Loki mask, I don't want you to be mixed up with them…

 **PancakePrince:** I will.  
 **PancakePrince:** (Even though my Loki mask is technically closer to a very dark red rather than black…)  
 **PancakePrince:** I'll use my Robin Hood mask.  
 **PancakePrince:** There is no way I would be mistaken with Black Mask then.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** are you sure you don't want me to join you on your information gathering trips?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I can bring Morgana along  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** he knows about you and would be a great help in covering larger distances  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it would also help your case in case you ever decided to join the team

 **PancakePrince:** I find it highly unlikely that I'll end up joining your band of merry thieves  
 **PancakePrince:** for more than one reason  
 **PancakePrince:** but alright  
 **PancakePrince:** I guess I can't refuse the offer of a ride

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** you know  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** your cognitive version in Sae's Palace is… very interesting  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** meeting him gave rise to even MORE interesting questions  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** about how Sae perceives our relationship

 **PancakePrince:** okay so ONE  
 **PancakePrince:** WHAT is THAT supposed to mean?  
 **PancakePrince:** TWO  
 **PancakePrince:** WHY are you inside Sae's Palace?  
 **PancakePrince:** and THREE  
 **PancakePrince:** SAE HAS A PALACE?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** yes she does  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's a casino

 **PancakePrince:** A CASINO

 **DayumThoseLegs:** we're there because we have been blackmailed AGAIN

 **PancakePrince:** HOW AND WHY DO YOU KEEP BEING BLACKMAILED?  
 **PancakePrince:** WHO WAS IT THIS TIME?  
 **PancakePrince:** WHO DO I NEED TO KILL?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** chill

 **PancakePrince:** I CAN'T /CHILL/

 **DayumThoseLegs:** your cognitive version saw me, squeaked, tripped, and fell down a staircase  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** he lived  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but he was blushing like mad

 **PancakePrince:** WHAT WHY HOW  
 **PancakePrince:** SAE WHY  
 **PancakePrince:** WHY  
 **PancakePrince:** IS THAT HOW SAE SEES ME?  
 **PancakePrince:** A BLUSHING MESS THAT CAN'T FUNCTION WHILE YOU'RE AROUND?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** it's okay hon  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** no harm done

 **PancakePrince** : no harm done?  
 **PancakePrince:** NO HARM DONE?!  
 **PancakePrince:** I can't let this slide!

 **DayumThoseLegs:** well, it's not like you can change it

 **PancakePrince:** :)  
 **PancakePrince:** :3  
 **PancakePrince:** ;3

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I have a feeling that I'm going to regret this conversation

.

 **DayumThoseLegs:** you're a horrible bf  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** we had to postpone our infiltration of Sae's Palace for another day for reasons you SHOULD KNOW  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** my ass is sore  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** zero regrets though  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** had no idea you were into COMPLETELY PUBLIC SEX

 **PancakePrince:** did it do its job though?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** introducing Akechi Goro, the guy who was so bothered by how his colleague perceived him he resorted to having sex in front of her just to change her mind  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** it depends on how you define 'did its job'

 **PancakePrince:** and that means?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** that means we had to fight Sae's cognition of you because he couldn't KEEP IT IN HIS FUCKING PANTS  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** he turned to Mara  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** babe  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** MARA  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** /MARA/  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** M  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** A  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** R  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** A  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** !

 **PancakePrince:** kajsdasgdjasd  
 **PancakePrince:** WHAT  
 **PancakePrince:** WHY  
 **PancakePrince:** WHY IS THIS MY LIFE

 **DayumThoseLegs:** your plan backfired spectacularly  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** probably the only person who benefitted was me  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I GOT LAID  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** but you?  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** you unfortunate soul  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Lack of Impulse Control, Thy Name is Akechi Goro

 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** I need to go  
 **PancakePrince:** jump into the arms of the Reaper  
 **PancakePrince:** I love you babe  
 **PancakePrince:** take care of Boss' coffee for me  
 **PancakePrince:** I'll haunt you, don't worry ^^

.

 **PancakePrince:** Akira?  
 **PancakePrince:** Akira what is this I hear on the news about the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts committing suicide while in custody?  
 **PancakePrince:** babe  
 **PancakePrince:** what is this I hear about the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts being held in custody?  
 **PancakePrince:** I was in the same building for fuck's sake  
 **PancakePrince:** Akira it's been a day and I haven't heard anything from you  
 **PancakePrince:** respond for fuck's sake  
 **PancakePrince:** Akira?  
 **PancakePrince:** Akira please?  
 **PancakePrince:** kitten?  
 **PancakePrince:** love? Are you reading this?  
 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** I see…  
 **PancakePrince:** so it came to this  
 **PancakePrince:** so you were caught  
 **PancakePrince:** killed?  
 **PancakePrince:** because you'd never kill yourself voluntarily like that  
 **PancakePrince:** you didn't EVEN SAY ANYTHING  
 **PancakePrince:** I KNOW THIS PHONE IS MOST LIKELY HELD AS EVIDENCE  
 **PancakePrince:** I KNOW THAT MEANS OUR CHAT LOGS HAVE BEEN READ  
 **PancakePrince:** I KNOW IT MEANS THAT MY MESSAGES ARE BEING READ AT THE MOMENT  
 **PancakePrince:** BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?  
 **PancakePrince:** FUCK YOU AKIRA  
 **PancakePrince:** FUCK YOU WITH A GUN  
 **PancakePrince:** YOU DON'T  
 **PancakePrince:** GET TO DO T  
 **PancakePrince:** HIS I  
 **PancakePrince:** DON'T CARE ANYMORE  
 **PancakePrince:** LET THEM COME AT ME  
 **PancakePrince:** LET THEM TRY  
 **PancakePrince:** I DON'T CARE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT  
 **PancakePrince:** YOU THINK I HAVENT BEEN DOING ANYTHING WHILE YOU WERE PLAYING THIEF?  
 **PancakePrince:** GUESS AGAIN  
 **PancakePrince:** I HAVE A LILST OF NAMES  
 **PancakePrince:** AND BY THIS TIME NEXT WEEK NONE OF THEM WO  
 **PancakePrince:** ULD BE DRAWING BREATH I  
 **PancakePrince:** WILL MAKE SHI  
 **PancakePrince:** DO REGRET  
 **PancakePrince:** AKI RA PL EASE I

 **DayumThoseLegs:** Excuse me. This is Makoto.

 **PancakePrince:** NII jima?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** Yes.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Akira can't respond right now because he'd been confined to bed rest.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'll be handling his messages at the moment.

 **PancakePrince:** he's  
 **PancakePrince:** alive

 **DayumThoseLegs:** Yes.

 **PancakePrince:** he's  
 **PancakePrince:** alright?

 **DayumThoseLegs:** I… am not sure.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** He's been… hurt pretty badly.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Actually…  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** That's an understatement.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** He let himself get caught in a ploy to smoke out the traitor who infiltrated us.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** The interrogators weren't merciful. He was beaten black and blue.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** And that's what I could see on his face.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** He was limping too, and I think he has bruised ribs.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** He was drugged as well.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** I'm telling you this because both Boss and Futaba told me I could trust you with this information.  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** Even Morgana agreed.

 **PancakePrince:** …  
 **PancakePrince:** Alright…  
 **PancakePrince:** listen to me  
 **PancakePrince:** I am coming to Leblanc right now  
 **PancakePrince:** and we are going to plan for what's going to happen next  
 **PancakePrince:** there are details I need to speak to you all about in person

 **DayumThoseLegs:** …alright…  
 **DayumThoseLegs:** We'll be waiting for you.

.

 _Extra:_

 _ **PancakePrince:**_ _I forgot to ask  
_ _ **PancakePrince:**_ _how did you get into his phone?_

 _ **DayumThoseLegs:**_ _um…  
_ _ **DayumThoseLegs:**_ _Everyone knows Akira's lockscreen password is '56fuckspancakes'  
_ _ **DayumThoseLegs:**_ _Pardon the language…_

 _ **PancakePrince:**_ _THAT FUCKER  
_ _ **PancakePrince:**_ _SAY YOUR GOODBYES TO HIM RIGHT NOW  
_ _ **PancakePrince:**_ _BECAUSE IM GOING TO KILL HIM FOR REAL THIS TIME_

.

End


End file.
